A university freshman...
My university was known as Baguio Colleges Foundation at that time but now, it is known as the University of the Cordilleras.
That was the University I have chosen after having an agreement with my mom. I wanted to be a policewoman because I have seen a lot of crimes around me as I grew up as a child. I saw a lot of pick pocketers, robbers, hold uppers, police brutality, and abuse of authority by the rich and foolish officials. I wanted to clean them up but my mom said, " you, policewoman- I don't like, it's dangerous. It's better for you to take up education. I would like you to teach children. If you don't, better look for a job and support yourself." I was devastated at that time because my dreams were shattered. IT hurt me most because it was my mom who has destroyed it. I tried to tell her, okay I will take up architecture or engineering since I have a passion for drawing and designing. But again, she said " I don't have money! Those courses are very expensive!" Again, I was really hurt and lost. My mom didn't give me any options. She wanted me to take up an Education and study at the public university. I didn't want to go to that university since I have a lot of relatives and friends studying there. I want to isolate my self from those relatives. I want to start afresh so I made a deal with my mom. I'm going to take up the course of her choice but I will decide where to study. I've chosen to study at Baguio Colleges University.
My 2 years there were really very nice. It is where I met my first boyfriend. Well, maybe we can say boyfriend. I made a lot of friends. I learned to smoke and have fun. most of my friends were male. Though I managed to make some girlfriends but boyfriends stand out the most for me. I loved being with the boys. why? They can keep secrets. When there is an activity that I have to go home late, they serve as my bodyguard and send me home safe and sound. However, after those exciting years, horrendous things started to haunt me. After my debut, I don't know what happened. I admitted to a guy that I liked him. And that is the start of me being distant to my mom. I still clearly remember that day. It was our final exams but I couldn't attend it since I rushed my mom to the hospital. The bad luck has started.
I fell in love with the wrong person[perhaps but at hat time, it was like heaven when we were together.] I got pregnant but since I was still too young, I had a miscarriage. Things have continued, my relationship with that man started to get worse. Everything is really going bad to worst. I've left the house since my dad came back after 18 years and that added to my burden. I wanted to marry the man who made me pregnant but because of my dad's conditions, we can't. So we moved out, however, that was the start of the cross I'm carrying up to now. If he only told me, he doesn't want me anymore then I wouldn't push more. I only wanted someone to love me as I am but then he found someone else. I again got pregnant for the second time but to the stress I have for everything that is happening in my surroundings, again, I lost my precious one. So, we parted at the worst time. And I was left with so much wound, depressed until such time of wanting to end my life.
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