Why me?

All my life, I have been working hard not only for myself but for my family. But why? I always do my best but you never gave me an easy life, I am a very weak person and you know that but still you give me things that I can't handle. I am so tired. Why not just take my life if you won't let me live a comfortable life. I worked hard for you and you know the reason why I turned my back. Even though I solemnly ask you to help me achieve the life I would like for my kids-my family, you never gave it to me. You turned your back at me first.  And now, what would you like me to do? You already killed everything in me. I am very lost. I don't know where to start what to start. I now don't even know what I really want to do. I am very frustrated. Why am I still breathing if this is the kind of life I have? I have been restless, depressed, frustrated and in a very bad shape and still you tend not to help me. I asked and asked  multiple times and yet your eyes and ears were closed. There are so many people doing illegal things, selling drugs, prostitutions, graft, corruption, murderers, robbers, and a lot more but you make their lives so comfortable, while I, I , who made an effort to work for my family and to serve you, you never made my life comfortable. You are very unfair to me. 

AS you see, I no longer want to go out and mingle with my friends, and relatives.  Why? Because I don't have anything to offer them. I am about to lose my mind. Or are you waiting for me to just end my life? Why not just take my life away.?  I am so tired. I am so down, confused and worn out. I want everything to stop. I can no longer breathe.

I am in so much pain for what you did to me. I trusted you so much thinking that you are there and you will listen to me but then I realized, you were never there for me.